A Brontosaurus in a Brothel.

The Sharper Image

Why do I buy things in air

SkyMall eats my lunch

So this post was actually ready to go last week, but I was trying to give other parties involved  ::ahem, Ryan:: a chance to post…well…here we are.

I don’t know if any of our wonderful readers are cultured enough to be a valued customer of The Sharper Image, BrookStone, or SkyMall, but basically they are stores where men go to buy things they don’t need.  These stores manage to solve the great paradox of life:  How can we use technology and make products less useful (screw cancer, we’ve made a golf ball monogrammer).  But the real conundrum is how are these products developed.  Well here are a few things you might overhear in a product development meeting for one of these companies.

“Hmm it’s good, but can we make it inflatable?”

“It starts to melt if you sweat though.”

“It’s for when you want Cinnabon, but don’t want to deal with the dirty looks.”

“Imagine a piano, but better!”

“I think we’re missing the point. Will it increase car crashes? Maybe. But will your smoothies taste fresh? For sure!”

“It’s like a cuckoo clock for deaf people.”

“Jake, I love the shirt concept, but I can’t stop thinking, ‘It needs more wifi…’ “

“I know that they’re kitchen knives jim, that doesn’t mean they don’t need laser pointers”

“you’ll never lose your car keys again! And it’s a loofah!”

“Think about the possibilities.  It slow-cooks vegetables and tweets George Bush quotes.”

“It’s similar to a saxophone, but with auto-tune”

“It’s a remote control Boeing 747 that runs completely on will power and Snapple.”

-Chris

Chocolate milk and beef jerky.

Where are you Dino

I have been here all along

Not I said the cat.

Well it’s been awhile.  Almost a year has gone by since two fat guys thought they were funny enough to be read.  If you’ve never heard of what we affectionately call A Brontosaurus in a Brothel you need to get hip.  It seems like so long ago that we started the original Bronto Brothel.  We only had the shirts on our backs (no pants, don’t need ‘em) and a (polly) pocket full of dreams.  It wasn’t long until we were launched into the blogosphere of mega-stardom!  We toured extensively in the U.S. and in Asia Minor blogging to sold out arenas and being interviewed by some of the biggest names in the industry, including Gumptown! Then things took a turn for the worst (just watch the Behind The Music on Motley Crue and you’ll get the general idea.), but those dark times are behind us and we are now back and better than ever. We’re sorry for being gone so long, it’ll never happen again, we’ll listen better,  yada, yada, yada…

If you have a second check out the old site here.  If you’ve been with us all along you can reminisce about the times when people said things like profitable and falsehoods. If you’re new to the crew you’ll get an idea of what we do here at A Brontosaurus in a Brothel. Will there be lots of exciting new features and things to do? probably not.  But there will be fun, laughter, babies, music, and unicorns!!!  Like this one, designed by contemporary artist and school supply designer Lisa Frank!

Thank’s for sticking with us!

-Chris